With a menu of burgers, salads and beers, we expected a standard bar nacho: jarred salsa everywhere making a mess of things. I expected flavors I didn’t want to taste. I expected napkins to be destroyed.

A mess it was. A tasty mess. The chips were salty and the cheese was everywhere my hand grabbed. I actually liked the guac, though I’m not sure where it was made. This mess was welcomed. If I had to complain, I’d tell you that the salsa was too much and that side of the plate didn’t stay crisp as well as the rest of the plate. Otherwise, these were pretty tasty nachos.

If the awkward singles had ordered these nachos, they could have had the first sparks of romance when they both grabbed the last chip hiding under a lot of salsa.

A week has past since we destroyed Astoria on our Nacho Crawl, so our stomachs have had time to settle and our palates have been refreshed but I wish I could just hit DELETE DELETE DELETE on the night that was at Paquito’s in the East Village. Before we even got our nachos, we had already consumed our free chips and salsa which were quite tasty. We were looking forward to the chorizo, cheese, and beans nachos.

However, we experienced a black bean bombshell. Runny beans juice makes nachos super soggy. The worst offender: the chorizo. I prefer ground chorizo; however, as evident by Tacos Mexioo from our nacho crawl, slices can surprise me. But this chorizo had the texture of a hot dog and only slightly more kick. I couldn’t get over it and as you can see we just couldn’t finish.

Is it the East Village area that attracts sad, sorry ‘chos? If memory serves me right, 7A nachos were a bit of a bummer and San Loco has a pit stop there. But then again, one of my favorites, Professor Thom’s is on the East Side. Someone please recommend a place that won’t leave me fuming or Lee in tears.

Red is the color of love but on nachos it just brings out the hate. The multi-colored plate of ‘chos has been discussed before and we don’t approve. When scientists have developed a strain of corn that produces red kernels suitable for human consumption and chip concoction then we will consider it acceptable. Keep that Red dye #5 away from my ‘chos please. I have mentioned my tolerance training program in the past, but it’s just so unnatural.

I gave these chips a chance even though the color wasn’t pleasing. In regards to the taste, the cheese was missing on half the chips. A few chips got the mother-load of cheese while others were left naked and exposed. Instead of cheese smothering my ‘chos, there was an overwhelming amount of refried beans which I don’t enjoy. They tend to be pasty and heavy distracting from the fresh ingredients, like pico and guac. But maybe 7A wanted me to think more about the beans than their guac because when the plate came out it was ice cold.If you aren’t going to freshly prepare your guacamole, don’t advertise it. Cold guac just screams, “I’ve been chillin’ in the walk-in all week!” Fail, major fail. Let’s end on a positive note. I liked the pico. I love love love cilantro and it was one ingredient on this plate that wasn’t lacking.

7A is open 24 hours so if you’re running out of late-night options there are other items on the menu that might be pleasing. But I almost dare not say it, Taco Bell is open late too.

7A
109 Ave A
New York, NY 10009
(212) 475-9001

The plate of nachos was gynourmous. Bigger-than-your-face HUGE. They came served on a pizza tray on top of a cake stand. It was a brilliant presentation and made sharing easy. Since there was so much food, the nachos were good to keep picking at all throughout the game.

As you might see, in addition to the pico de gallo, sour cream, and guacamole, the chips came with a small cup of salsa. Uncle Thom’s must have put a lot of thought into its nacho composition, because the cold salsa separation helped maintain the chips crispiness. The cheese was perfectly melted; not a single chip was burnt. There weren’t mushy refried beans which again, helped keep the chips stay crunchy. The greatest thing about this whole plate of nachos, the price. An entire pizza plate of nachos for under 9 bucks. They could easily have fed and filled 6-8 people.

While Reginald P. Nacho, Esq. was absent for this affair, I personally declare Professor Thom’s to be the best BAR nachos I have had since embarking on this nacho journey. Anyone care to disagree?