In the course of fast food history, the big chains have blessed us with a few extra-special concoctions that, upon their availability, absolutely electrified the public. We swoon yearly over the reintroduction of the McRib. KFC’s Double Down sandwich was such a big deal that former NY Times’ food critic Sam Sifton reviewed it. 2012 brings us Taco Bell’s big splash–the Doritos Locos Taco–a Taco Bell taco with a shell flavored like a Nacho Cheese Dorito.

Hello, Nacho Nation. Have y’all recovered from the Super Bowl festivities yet? Did your chosen party have nachos? Were they good? Were they more than tortilla chips & quickly-coagulating cheese? I hope so. Personally, I went to a gathering with well-done nachos but, as one who grew up on sports, I can still appreciate the chip & cheese simplicity of the ballpark nacho.

OMG! Is it really that magical time of year again? You’re darn tootin’ it is. It’s National Popcorn Day! That’s right, today is some day that some marketing exec at some snack manufacturer dreamt up to boost popcorn sales. Celebrate good times, come on!

I don’t know who these snack food companies think they’re fooling. Just because you put a blend of cheeses on a snack, you don’t get to automatically get to use the word “nacho.”

For the past five months, I’ve been on a grueling quest. You see, for years I’ve been a heavy consumer of Hot Pockets and Hot Pocket offshoots.

I don’t know if you know this, but snacking technology has advanced so far that these days, you can make a chip out of pretty much anything. Other than the obvious potato chips, these days there are corn chips, wheat chips, pita chips, banana chips, bean chips, taro chips, rice chips, popcorn chips & kale chips. I have an uncle who makes chips out of buffalo. How about nut chips?

The last time I snuggled my ass into a booth at a T.G.I. Friday’s, Napster was cool, The Backstreet Boys were king & Slick Willie was president. I haven’t been back since then & here’s why: As an eating establishment, T.G.I. Friday’s is the restaurant equivalent of a bad acid trip, a gaudily-decorated chain restaurant that serves up crappy 1,000+ calorie entrees & plays it off like they’re all gourmet or creative or something.

When it comes to my snacking choices, a lot of the time I like to keep it classy, with fancy cheeses & pheasants & whatnot. The rest of the time I swing lowbrow, consuming my weight in Combos & Slim Jims & Hostess Sno Balls.

From what I can tell, the folks at Mars, Inc. who are involved with Combo flavor creation really have a hard-on thing for nachos.

On our last episode of A Queso the Munchies, we looked at a tasty nacho cheese-flavored tortilla chip made from a mix of rice & corn. This week, we’ve got another of the same sort of chip with Lundberg Family Farms’ Nacho Cheese Rice Chips.

Hey you! How’d you like a swift kick to the nachos? No? How about a swift kick of NACHO FLAVOR? Yeah. I knew you would. That’s why I had to clue you in to the existence of Deep River Snacks’ Nacho Kick Tortilla Chips.

When I was but a wee scallywag, my mom sent me off to school each day with a lovingly packed lunch and let’s say 36% of the time, that lunch included a Slim Jim. On the days when it did contain one, I’d sit at the cafeteria lunch table munching on my Slim Jim and hoping to impress the popular kids. I always kept “Macho Man” Randy Savage’s cry of “SNAP INTO IT!” to myself though. It was difficult but necessary for popularity reasons.