Lettuce: Official Nacho Spoiler
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Dearest nacho lovers, you know as well as I do that shredded iceberg lettuce is all right on a Subway $5 foot-long. But on nachos? Take that fluffy green stuff off my plate and put it back on the salad bar.
Iceberg lettuce serves no purpose in general to me. I despise “wedge salads” and find half a head of iceberg lettuce on my plate to be a waste of my limited stomach space. But to put that glorified salad ingredient on my beloved plate of nachos? I’m sorry, did you think I said “taco salad” instead of “nachos grande?” Did you feel you needed to run half my plate of nachos through your office paper shredder? If your chips are fresh you don’t need to add crunch ontop of crunch. Are you worried that your plate of ‘chos will send my stomach spinning and I will need additional roughage in my diet so I won’t flee your restaurant doubled over ready to explode at a moments notice? I am flattered you are concerned but don’t bother. I had my Raisin Bran for breakfast.
In short, get that garnish off of my ‘chos and maybe we can talk about a favorable NachosNY review. We’re looking at you San Loco, Taco Hut, and Buffalo Wild Wings. Until then, keep it simple folks. The only green I want to see is some guac action with a kick of jalepeno.