Lettuce: Official Nacho Spoiler

26 August 2009 by Rachel Anderson Category:
Tagged: 18 Comments

Dearest nacho lovers, you know as well as I do that shredded iceberg lettuce is all right on a Subway $5 foot-long. But on nachos? Take that fluffy green stuff off my plate and put it back on the salad bar.

taco-hut-5

Iceberg lettuce serves no purpose in general to me. I despise “wedge salads” and find half a head of iceberg lettuce on my plate to be a waste of my limited stomach space. But to put that glorified salad ingredient on my beloved plate of nachos? I’m sorry, did you think I said “taco salad” instead of “nachos grande?” Did you feel you needed to run half my plate of nachos through your office paper shredder? If your chips are fresh you don’t need to add crunch ontop of crunch. Are you worried that your plate of ‘chos will send my stomach spinning and I will need additional roughage in my diet so I won’t flee your restaurant doubled over ready to explode at a moments notice? I am flattered you are concerned but don’t bother. I had my Raisin Bran for breakfast.

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In short, get that garnish off of my ‘chos and maybe we can talk about a favorable NachosNY review. We’re looking at you San Loco, Taco Hut, and Buffalo Wild Wings. Until then, keep it simple folks. The only green I want to see is some guac action with a kick of jalepeno.

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18 Comments »

  • lee said:

    Rachel. I’ve never seen you mad. Do you have habanero steam coming out of your ears?

  • Lola said:

    Ewwwwww.

    That lettuce is taking over. Those nachos look seriously unappetizing. More salsa, please!

  • Erin said:

    No lettuce, that’s gross.

  • Jake said:

    As a purist I have to say lettuce should forever be banned from nachos. The same should be said about burritos, flautas, fajitas and enchiladas. I don’t want it on, next to, near or even in the vicinity of. It’s a waste of space get it away!

  • Dynah said:

    Totally, totally with you. I am an avowed iceberg lettuce hater. It has no place anywhere except in the garbage, or compost or something. Especially not on nachos.

  • Jonathan Poritsky said:

    I believe this calls for a classic. “I don’t see no lettuce!”

  • jon said:

    PUH-LEEZ! If this garbage isn’t retracted by the end of the day, I’m calling for Rachel’s resignation from NachosNY.

    Lettuce is a tool, and it can be misused like any other. Veggies don’t kill nachos, people kill nachos.

  • Julia said:

    I beg to differ.

    You know how much I like lettuce.

  • Julia said:

    P.S.

    Are those MY fingers in the first picture…?

    Yeah they are !

    Taco Hut, I salute you !

  • rachel (author) said:

    The day winds down and my post remains. Oh dearest Julia, let’s not let lettuce ruin our friendship. I will eat stick with the blooming onion at Taco Bell while you can tackle that lettuce.

  • smarkham said:

    wow, nothing stirs up the public like the issue of lettuce! The lettuce in these photos does not look very fresh, which I think is the main problem with having it on nachos. It’s either wilted or so highly preserved it’s tasteless.

  • Ty said:

    Lettuce or no lettuce I would destroy a plate of nachos.

  • Nachos NY » Product Review: TJ’s Corn and Chile Salsa said:

    [...] short this is a great salsa to add to nachos or a taco salad. NOTE I said taco salad, where lettuce is allowed. However if you are looking for a dipping salsa to put out while you cheer on the Bills, this [...]

  • Nachos NY » Lime Jungle and the Avett Brothers said:

    [...] Now that’s saying something. They also had proper lettuce dispersal. Notice the use of shredded iceberg lettuce as a lovely garnish instead of violating my chips’ space. In addition to the nachos, we drank [...]

  • Nachos NY – The Quest for the Best Nachos Ever » Nacho Resolutions for 2010 said:

    [...] the Lettuce You know we’ve discussed before, but lettuce is no more than flavorless filler with no flavorful or nutritional value whatsover. [...]

  • leemfrank said:

    Lettuce stinks.

  • The Corrib Pub in Brookline: Patrollin’ Oldies « El Tour Del Nacho said:

    [...] Quality of the toppings: (6) While we were impressed with the fresh ingredients (the tomatoes and onions in particular), the rest of the toppings left something to be desired. The overabundance of jarred salsa made it difficult to pick out other flavors, while the cheese was sticky and flavorless and the chips were a tad too salty. The chili tasted distinctly like taco seasoning (some of us liked it) and there was lettuce. To discuss our dislike of lettuce on nachos seems like beating a dead horse and we will instead refer to our friends at NachosNY for a full diatribe. [...]

  • Lettice said:

    Obviously lettuce as thickly sliced as in your photo is unacceptable. I do however like to put extremely finely shredded lettuce on my nachos. It cuts down on the heat of the spicy cheese sauce and jalapenos. On my nachos it also serves as a buffer between the chips and the scoop of guacamole and sour cream I put on the nachos. Otherwise it would fall between the chips and cause them to get too soggy.

    Nacho engineering there is logic in it.

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