A Letter to the Management

7 May 2009 by Lee Frank Category: guest, letters to the management
Tagged: ,   7 Comments

Today I got an email from the management at Fucked in Park Slope so fueled with passion and energy that I decided to post it in it’s entirety. It reads:

Dear Nachos NY,

I have a nachos-centric issue that has been weighing heavily on my mind for years. Never before have a had a proper forum to air out my concerns…until now.

The introduction of the fabulous Nachos NY to the dub dub dub has inspired me to face this issue head on, and I’m now prepared to deal with the consequences–whatever they may be. Here’s the thing (and I’m sorry, but this just needs to be said): red and green colored nachos are an abomination to nacho lovers everywhere.


There it is.

I know the truth hurts sometimes, people, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

For those of you who know me at all, you know that the list of foods my fat ass doesn’t like is about 2 items long: black olives and black licorice. Nachos are way the fuck up near the top of my faves, like right after dumplings and right before devil dogs. Also, I’m old, so I’ve been eating nachos since before most of you people were even born. I’ve been to Mexico…I lived in LA for 5 years…I know why the caged bird sings…basically, I’ve got street cred.

But there is nothing that will harsh my nachos mellow faster than ordering a heaping plate of cheesy, gooey delicious nachos, only to have them arrive in some Santa-fied abortion of red and green nachofication. WTF is up with that!? Nachos should not be red. Nachos should not be green. Nachos should not be ANY OTHER COLOR than that light, innocuous beig-y color that they just are (*NOTE: the one and I mean UNO and only exception to this rule is blue corn nachos that are naturally blue because the corn used to make them is blue. These mofos get a pass).

Otherwise, I make no exceptions to this rule, and no apologies for its existence. I am a purist and I like it old school…like an amish nacho lover (a Namish?).

So in summary, colored nachos can go suck a dick.

Fucked In Park Slope

We here agree with FIPS, but let me know in the poll and comments what you think.

[poll id=”3″]

Facebook Comments


  • souleyedee said:


  • melissa said:

    I don’t even like the blue ones.

  • Dreidel Hustler said:

    I just like to try and picture a nacho sucking a dick.

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